pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Tue Dec 02, 2008 12:33 pm

“J0llibee chicken j0y GRAVY
Napatunayang p0sitib0 sa melamine! Please Pass! Please.! - R0nald MCd0nald
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Wed Dec 03, 2008 5:19 pm

Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
1st: How yours look like?
2nd: She is 5″7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find yours!!
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Wed Dec 03, 2008 5:19 pm

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend to death.
Wife says, “If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends”.
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Wed Dec 03, 2008 5:20 pm

What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Wed Dec 03, 2008 5:23 pm

Husband asks , “Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
“Without Information Fighting Everytime”
Wife replies, “No, It means, ”With Idiot For Ever!!!”
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Dec 05, 2008 10:35 pm

May isang pilipinang nanay na namatay sa Amerika dahil sa heart attack. Pagdating nang bangkay sa Pilipinas ay napansin ng mga anak nito na ang mukha at katawan ng inay nila ay dikit na dikit na sa salamin ng kabaong. Sabi tuloy ng isa, "Ay tingnan mo yan, hindi sila marunong mag-asikaso ng patay sa Amerika". Nang biniksan nila ang coffin, may napansin silang sulat sa ibabaw ng dibdib ng kanilang inay. Mula ito sa kanilang kapatid na bababe na nakatira sa Amerika. Dahan-dahang kinuha at nanginginig na binuksan ni Kuya ang sulat at binasa sa buong pamilya "Mahal Kong mga Kapatid, Hayan na si Inay! Pasensya na kayo at hindi ko nasamahan ang inay sa pag-uwi diyan sa Pilipinas sa dahilan na napakamahal ng pamasahe. Anyway, pinadala ko kasama ni inay ang:
- dalawampu't apat na karne norte na nasa likod ni Inay. Maghati-hati na kayo.
- anim na bagong labas na Adidas Rubber shoes...isa suot-suot ni Inay... ang lima nasa ulunan ni Inay...isa-isa na kayo riyan.
- iba't ibang klaseng tsokolate, nasa puwit ni Inay...yan na lang ang ipasalubong nyo dun sa mga taga-barangay natin...
- anim na Ralph Lauren na t-shirts suot-suot ni Inay...para sa iyo, Kuya, at isa-isa ang mga pamangkin ko.
- isang dosenang Wonderbra na gustong-gusto ninyo, mga kapatid ko, suot-suot din ni Inay. Maghati-hati na kayo riyan.
- dalawang dosenang Victoria Secret na panties na inaasam-asam ninyo, suot-suot din ni Inay. Maghati-hati na rin kayo, Ate.
- walong Dockers na pantalon suot-suot din ni Nanay. Subukan nyong ibenta dyan. Kapag mabili ay magpapadala pa ako.
- ang Rolex na hinahabilin mo, Kuya, eh suot-suot din ni Inay.
- ang hikaw, singsing at kuwintas na gustong-gusto mo, Ate, eh suot-suot din ni Inay. Kunin mo na. Bahala na kayo kay Inay. Pamimisahan ko na lang siya dito. Balitaan niyo na lang ako pagkatapos ng libing.

Ang Nagmamahal ninyong kapatid,
Nene

P.S. Pakibihisan na lang si Inay pagkatapos..."
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Dec 05, 2008 10:38 pm

Sa honeymoon...
Lalake: Darling - pwede?
Babae: Meron ako eh.
L: Sa pwet?
B: May almoranas ako.
L: Sa bunganga?
B: May sore throat ako.
Naasar si lalake- sinakal si babae at sinabi:
WAG MONG SABIHING MAY SIPON KA RIN!!!
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Sat Dec 20, 2008 9:00 pm

FAN: “Erap, bakit pareho kayong mahilig sa chicks ni FPJ?”
ERAP: “Iba kasi ang inaral naming libro eh. Kayo nag-umpisa sa librong “Pepe n Pilar”. Kami ni Pareng Ronnie, nag start kami sa librong pinahiram ni Dolphy na “PEPE NI PILAR”.”
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Sat Dec 20, 2008 9:01 pm

JUAN: (Galing skul) “Tay! Ang mga classmates ko, zero lahat!”
AMA: “Hahaha! Bobo naman nila! Ikaw?”
JUAN: “Magpapatalo ba naman ako? Syempre, zero din!”
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Sat Dec 20, 2008 9:02 pm

Today’s Malupit na Banat:

“You seem like a sweet person… Will you mind if I taste you to find out?”
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Sat Dec 20, 2008 9:03 pm

AHENTE: “Sir, yung bagong supremarket na dineliveran natin, ngsara na!”
BOSS: “Ha?! Taena P1Milyon binagsak natin dun ah! Bat daw nagsara?”
AHENTE: “Gabi na raw.”
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  kasey shaun yap on Sat Dec 20, 2008 10:40 pm

LOL sarado na ung ahensya! Very Happy nice abatar. Very Happy may bagong porum!
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  Damn Japanese! on Sun Dec 21, 2008 9:03 am

sarado na ba ito?

i kinda like this beter... lol!
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:46 pm

QUOTABLE QUOTES

-Ang taong nagigipit…sa bumbay kumakapit.
-Pag may usok…may nag-iihaw.
-Ang taong naglalakad nang matulin… may utang.
-No guts, no glory… no ID, no entry.
-Birds of the same feather that prays together… stays together.
-Kapag may sinuksok at walang madukot, may nandukot.
-Ang buhay ay parang bato, it’s hard.
-Walang matigas na tinapay sa gutom na tao.
-Birds of the same feather make a good feather duster.
-Kapag may taga, may tahi.
-Huli man daw at magaling, undertime pa rin.
-To err is human, to errs is humans. (WOW GALING SA GRAMMAR…)
-Ang naglalakad ng matulin, late na sa appointment
-Matalino man ang matsing, matsing pa rin.
-Better late than later.
-Aanhin ang palasyo kung ang nakatira ay kuwago, mabuti pa ang bahay kubo,sa paligid puno ng linga.
-Ang sakit ng kalingkingan, kailangan ng alaxan.
-Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling wika, lumaki sa ibang bansa.
-Kapag maikli ang kumot, tumangkad ka na!
-Better late than pregnant.
-Behind the clouds are the other clouds.
-Aanhin pa ang damo.. kung bato na ang uso!
-It’s better to cheat than to repeat!
-Ang batang masipag paglaki ay pagod.
-Do unto others… then run!!!
-Practice makes perfect, but then again no ones perfect so why practice?
-Pag di ukol, di bubukol…siya ay baog!
-Kapag puno na ang salop, kumuha na ng ibang salop.
-Magbiro ka na sa lasing, Magbiro ka na sa bagong gising, ‘wag lang sa lasing na bagong gising.
-When all else fails, follow instructions.
-No man is an island because time is gold.
-An apple a day.. is too expensive.
-An apple a day, makes seven apples a week.
-Ang babaeng hindi natumtumba ay dating kundoktora.
-An apple a day cannot be an orange a day.
-Hindi lahat ng kumikinang ay ginto.. muta lang yan.
-Kapag ang puno mabunga…mataba ang lupa!
-When it rains…it floods.
-Kung kaya ng iba, ipagawa mo sa kanila.
-Pagkahaba haba man ng prusisyon .. mauubusan din ng kandila.
-Ang buhay ay parang gulong, minsan nasa ibabaw minsan nasa….vulcanizing shop.
-Batu-bato sa langit, ang tamaan… sapul.
-Try and try until you succeed… or else try another.
-Ako ang nagsaing… iba ang kumain. diet ako eh.
-Huwag magbilang ng manok kung alaga mo ay itik .
-Kapag maiksi na ang kumot, bumili ka na ng bago.
-Pag may tyaga.. goodluck.
-If you can’t beat them, shoot them.
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Tue Jan 06, 2009 9:50 pm

Bading #1: “Bakit ba lagi mong sinasabi na inggit ka sa Vatican?”
Bading #2: “Kasi naman, Ate … ang Vatican, may Papa, pero ako… ni fling, wala!”
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Tue Jan 06, 2009 9:57 pm

GRO: “Alam mo, love, ang bait mo talaga! Feeling ko, ikaw ang taong mamahalin ko forever!”
SUGAR DADDY: “Kahit hindi mo ako mahalin… huwag mo lang akong mahalan!”
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Tue Jan 06, 2009 9:58 pm

Ang Tanong:

Bakit ba waiter ang tawag diyan sa mga nagse-serve eh tayong mga umorder naman ang pinaghihintay?
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Tue Jan 06, 2009 9:59 pm

Pasahero: “Mama, dahan-dahan lang po! Alalahanin ninyo na laging nakasunod sa atin ang disgrasya.”

Driver: “Eh kaya ko nga binibilisan para hindi tayo maabutan!”
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Tue Jan 06, 2009 9:59 pm

Anak: “Itay, kapatid ko ba si ninong?”
Itay: “Hindi, anak.”
Anak: “Eh bakit madalas ko siyang makitang dumedede kay nanay?”
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

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