pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 4:05 pm

SA BARBER SHOP:

BARBERO: “Boss, isubo nyo itong maliit na bola para bumukol ang pisngi niyo at mas pulido at madali ang pag-ahit.”

Pagkatapos ahitan, niluwa ang bola..

BOSS: “Ok ‘to ah. Pero paano pag nalunok ko?”
BARBERO: “Ibalik niyo na lang bukas pag naitae mo na tulad ng ginagawa ng ibang costumer.”
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 4:05 pm

PULIS: “Anong pangalan mo miss?”
GIRL: “Ficacion po sir.”
PULIS: “Pambihira ang pangalan mo.”
GIRL: “Dati po kasi PURIFICACION, eh na rape po ako kaya nawala na ang PURI.”
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:05 pm

JOSE: Kumusta ang assignment?
RICK: Masama. Wala akong nasagutan. Blank paper ang ipinasa ko.
JOSE: Naku, ako rin! Paano 'yan? Baka isipin
nila, nagkopyahan tayo?!
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:05 pm

TOTO: Pangarap ko, kumita ng P250,000 monthly gaya ni daddy!
JOVY: Wow! Ganyan kalaki ang kinikita ng daddy mo?
TOTO: Hindi! 'Yan din ang pangarap niya!
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:06 pm

DOK: May taning na ang buhay mo.
JUAN: Wala na bang pag-asa? Ano po ba ang dapat kong gawin?
DOK: Mag-asawa ka na lang ng pangit at bungangera.
JUAN: Bakit, gagaling po ba ako ru'n?
DOK: Hindi, pero mas gugustuhin mo pang mamatay kesa mabuhay!
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:06 pm

LITO: Pare, ano ba ang kaibahan ng H2O sa CO2?
JOSE: Diyos ko naman! Di mo ba alam 'yun?!
Ang H2O ay water! At ang CO2... COLD water.
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:07 pm

”Gustong malaman ng magkaibigan kung may basketbolan sa langit.
Nagkasundo sila na kung sino ang unang mamatay ay babalik upang
sabihin kung may basketbol sa langit.
Naunang namatay si Dado.”
Isang gabi, may narinig na boses si Rodel na parang kay Dado.
"Ikaw ba 'yan, Dado?" usisa ni Rodel.
"Oo naman!" tugon ni Dado.
"Parang hindi totoo!" bulalas ni Rodel."O,ano, meron bang
basketball sa langit?"
Sagot ni Dado, "May maganda at masama akong
balita sa 'yo. Ang maganda, may basketbol doon. Ang masama...
kasali ka sa makakalaban namin bukas!"
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:07 pm

Usapan ng dalawang bata...
JUNJUN: Magaling ang tatay ko! Alam mo'yang
Pacific Ocean , siya ang humukay nun!
PEDRO: Wala 'yan sa tatay ko! Alam mo yung Dead Sea ?
JUNJUN: Oo...
PEDRO: Siya ang pumatay nun!
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:07 pm

STEWARDEES: Do you want a drink, sir?
SIR: What are my choices?
STEWARDEES: Yes or No.
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:08 pm

MISIS: Hindi ko na kaya 'to! Araw-araw nalang tayong nag-aaway
Mabuti pa, umalis na ako sa bahay na 'to!
MISTER: Ako rin, sawang-sawa na! Away rito,away roon! Mabuti pa
siguro, sumama na ako sa 'yo!
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:08 pm

Misis: Delayed ako nang one month pero huwag mo munang
ipagsabi.Nahihiya ako...
Mister: Okey.
(Kinabukasan, dumating Collector ng Meralco.) ..
COLLECTOR: Misis, delayed po kayo ng one month.
MISIS: Ha? Bakit mo alam?
COLLECTOR: Nasa record po.
MISTER: Bakit Naka-record diyan na delayed ang misis ko?
COLLECTOR: Kung gusto ninyong mawala sarecord, magbayad kayo!
MISTER: Eh kung ayokong magbayad?
COLLECTOR: Puputulan kayo!
MISTER: Eh anong gagamitin ni misis?
COLLECTOR: Pwede naman siyang gumamit ng kandila.
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:09 pm

Advantage at disadvantage ng may-asawa...
ADVANTAGE: 'Pag kailangan mo, nandiyan agad.
DISADVANTAGE: 'Pag ayaw mo na, andiyan parin!
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:09 pm

TANONG: What is the difference between a girlfriend,a call girl and a wife?
SAGOT: Post paid, pre paid, unlimited.
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:10 pm

Sa isang classroom...
TITSER: Class, what is ETHICS?
PETER: Etiks are smaller than ducks.
TITSER: Okey, that duck will lay an egg in your card.
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:10 pm

JUAN: Pare, noong mayaman pa kami, nagkakamay
kaming kumain. Ngayongmahirap na kami, nakakutsara na.
PEDRO: Baligtad yata?
JUAN: Mahirap kamayin ang lugaw, pare!
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:11 pm

ANAK: Itay, nagpapatanong si ma'am kung ano raw ang propesyon mo.
TATAY: Sabihin mo, cardiologist.
ANAK: Ano po ba ang cardiologist, Itay?
TATAY:'Yung taga-ayos ng radio sa car!
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:11 pm

”Umuwi si mister nang 4:00 AM at nakita niya ang
kanyang misis na may katalik na lalaki sa kama”...
Misis: (sumigaw) SAAN KA GALING?!
Mister: Sino 'yang katabi mo?
Misis: GRABE KA! HUWAG MONG IBAHIN ANG USAPAN!
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:12 pm

ROD: Bakit bad trip ka?
HARRY: Nagtampo sa 'kin ang utol ko.
ROD: Bakit naman?
HARRY: Nakalimutan ko kasi ang birthday niya.
ROD: 'Yun lang? Anong masama ru'n?
HARRY: Ang masama ru'n... twins kami! Twins!
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:16 pm

Sa loob ng simbahan ng Quiapo, isang batang pulubi ang mataimtim na nanalangin sa Diyos.
Pulubi: “Panginoon kung maaari po sana ay bigyan ninyo ako ng sampung piso dahil gutom na gutom na lang po ako.”
Narinig sya ng isang pulis na kasalukuyan ding nagsisimba at bumilib sya sa katatagan ng bata sa pananampalataya sa Diyos. Sa kanyang habag ay dumukot sya ng limang piso at iniabot sa bata na ang sabi: “Amang, narinig ng Diyos ang panalangin mo at heto tanggapin mo ang perang ito at ibili mo ng pagkain”.
Tumingala ang bata sa pulis, kinuha nya ang limang pisong iniabot at muling yumuko para manalangin: “Panginoon, salamat po sa pagdinig ninyo sa aking panalangin, pero sana naman po sa uli-uli wag na ninyong pararaanin pa sa pulis, kasi malaki na ang bawas”.
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:16 pm

Milking Machine

Farmer ordered a MILKING MACHINE. Tried on his penis and had a wonderful orgasm, but can’t remove it. So he reads the manual and faints. It said “AUTO RELEASE AFTER 2 GALLONS”
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:17 pm

Milk
Mga klase ng gatas ng babae ayon sa research...

Dalagita: fresh milk
Dalaga: pasteurized
Bagong Kasal: skimmed
Matagal ng Kasal: yogurt
Matandang dalaga: taho
Lola: tokwa
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:17 pm

Loveliness through the years

1950s-Iniirog kita.
1960s-Iniibig kita.
1970s-Minamahal kita.
1980s-I love you.
1990s-Tara sa kwarto.
2000s-Pwede na rito.
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:19 pm

A thirsty city girl went to a remote barrio:

GIRL: Saan galing your water?
MATANDA: Sa ilog, iha.
GIRL: Ha?! Dini-drink nyo po yan?!
MATANDA: Duh! Sa siyudad ba chinu-chew?!
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:19 pm

GRO

GROOM: O, ‘Ney, bakit malungkot ka? Hindi ka ba masaya na pinakasalan kita kahit GRO ka?
BRIDE: Iniisip ko lang honey, tuwing mag se-sex tayo hindi mo na ako babayaran, SAYANG DIN KASI!!!
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

Post  ZettaiShounen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:20 pm

Home version of who wants to be a millionaire

Husband: Dear, puwede ka ba ngayon?
Wife: Di puwede pagod ako!
Husband: Is that final?
Wife: FINAL!!!!
Husband: Ok, can i phone a friend?!?
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Re: pinaka masayang text na nareceive mo....:D

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